Let’s hire a spy to snoop another spy snooping someone else.
Let’s pick up an eraser and rub out the writing on another eraser.
Let’s make a python swallow itself starting from its own tail.
Let’s pickup a magnifying glass and zoom at the other magnifying glass.
Let’s shoot a bullet!
It would be fun, I thought. What do you say? Shall we?
I am sure you must have come across the trendy “N things you didn’t know about X” blogs. The N:X blogs. (Let’s call them that)
And they are kinda exciting. Aren’t they? Yes, they are.
What exactly makes them exciting? What makes you click it to peek what is inside?
Well, think about it. It would be fine if there is something you don’t know. You would be totally at peace with it. You would still walk with your collar high and chin up.
It worsens only when someone else knows what you don’t. That is when you cannot keep away from verifying. It is human nature.
But actually, is it really what meets the eye? Or is there some hush-hush? You must know. Those blogs and the time that you have given them, owe it to you.
“N things you didn’t know about X” – Remember, N and X are important.
So with a dash of wit, spice and salt, here we go…
1. N is Nebulous
Ok, pick up dice, roll them away and there you go. You’ve got your N. Yes, it can be as easy, funny and weird as this appears. The challenge then starts in achieving the N. You may wonder, up to what extent can it make them go? You’ll see!
2. And so is X
Yes, you guessed it right. The subject, X, can also be as random as rolling the dice except for the dice with limitless sides would be hard to get. So, why not pick up a random book or a newspaper and go to page-23 paragraph-3. The subject being talked about there is your X.
Now that you have the canvas with your N and X, you are free to go and paint a masterpiece – or whatever.
3. Research, who?
Some of these blogs may give you the impression of so much of research has gone into it; so much of analysis and so many sleepless nights. It is a long shot but, may be even this blog might give you that feel. But, trust me. It is fake. It may seem like a researcher’s job. But more often than not, it is not. It is a Writer’s job.
4. White versus Off-White
Remember a Monday when you woke up, didn’t feel like going to work, but you had to?
And remember the next Monday when you woke up, didn’t feel like going to work, but you had to?
First one is what these blogs may tell you. Second one is what you may already know. They differ like a Monday and the next Monday in the life of a job-hater.
Yes, the dates may be different, but what heart feels is the same.
5. Layer of Literature
A graduate student, as dull as I was, would know how to fill pages till the final bell rings at an examination. We outrival everyone else at that. The experience comes handy while writing the N:X blogs. The lexis-makeup makes up for all that is missing. It is more Literature than Investigation.
6. Decorated Bat is not a Butterfly
The points are often repeated in such an enhancing way that you hardly realize it. It doesn’t change the actuality and still, you end up looking at it with in a whole new angle. It is all in the language. It is all webs of words. It is all illusion. It is all decoration. Don’t believe me? Read #3 and #5 once again.
7. Play a Fool
Sometimes, you need to lose a penny to win two. Making the reader feel good is important if you want them to buy your whatever. They have at least one out of the N where the reader would be forced to think, “Well, you don’t know Mr. Writer, but I knew this. Hunh! (Tongue Out)”
Writer is the Baazigar.
8. Convince or Confuse
They would slip in something that you do not know but it hardly matters. You would be confused as to so what if I don’t know this. Even if I knew it, where would it lead me? Does it matter? How does it matter? What is he trying to convince me into? Well, here is the secret. When they can’t convince you, they confuse you. See what I did here?
When you are presented with swanky pictures and illustrations hardly remotely related to X, you tend to lose focus from the subject. Often, deceptive images easily make it N-1; like it does here.
Remember, the target is still a little far – the magic number N.
10. All is fair in Love, War & achieving N
What they did in #1 still hangs around. They need to achieve N anyhow. Anyhow! And they would mix and match some salt, chilly and pepper with any of the above and there you go. You have got one more down. They would do anything to achieve N.